how can the one's we love, hurt us the most?

why is that even a question?
if someone loves you with all their heart, surely they will do anything possible not to hurt you right?
or is this even possible?
as two humans brought together can there be love without pain and heart ache?
do animals love each other for life, is there a fate or destiny that keeps one magically together with another?
or are we like animals and are meant to move from one to another to experience different joys and lessons from each other?
what is LOVE?
why would love HURT?

how do we solve the issue of psychotics out there? Is there an answer?

I mean after today's events I wonder what the answers could be!
Psychiatric institutions are throughout Europe but in the US they have been closed down and deemed unecessary! Really!? Well I beg to differ here, some people need watching?
Serious watching, not just for themselves and what harm they could create for themselves but for others...
Drugs harm the mind, they derange facts and cloud judgements, alcohol taken in vast quantities over a long period of time also renders the user borderline.

Something needs to change, governments have to step up to the mark and protect everyone's rights once and for all.

why?

so I don't know about you but today was interesting putting it mildly.
I had an attempted car jacking, to say I was scared is a total understatment.
Why are people so heartless and cruel?
what do they think they are achieving in terrifying someone, do they truly think they are above everyone else?

Terrifying...I pray no one else here ever goes through such a thing :-(

history...what has it to teach us if anything?

A dear friend asked me to talk briefly on history, I can only talk from my perspective and that's of a lover of history and what it should teach us.
 A man does what he must - in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures - and that is the basis of all human morality.
Winston Churchill
I believe history has the capacity to teach us so many lessons yet sadly over time our world governments have chosen to deliberately ignore those valuable lessons.
Take for example WWII, we all know pretty much everything that happened there, we all swore black and blue it would never happen again, yet have we not all been involved in several wars of late, why is this?
Is it possible to be an adult, a thinking adult and not bow down to pressure and instead of putting on our war paint put on our thinking caps?
We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.
Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill was an iconic figure in his time and now, however could he have done things differently, perhaps, would the world have listened to him if he had said let's sit this out and think awhile, sadly no I don't believe so.  Even Winston knew this.  Life is full of perilous challenges, our governments while not perfect by any means truly strive to protect our basic fundimental rights of freedom and protection, peace is a dangerous dream, it's fraught with what if's and hard core extremists.
 Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed.
Dwight D. Eisenhower
It is up to us as a whole to carry the torch for peace, to live our daily lives peaceful, to promote to our children a world that can co-operate with each other and look after each other, regardless of race, gender, materialistic status or personal beliefs, if we look to our children and our ghostly ancestors past perhaps an answer, an attainable answer can be found.
 Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime.
Ernest Hemingway

the heart breaks...

yes it does, into hundreds of thousands of tiny pieces, scattering to the four corners of your world, however if you pick up all those pieces you can create a beautiful colorful mosaic to show people you have survived and you will continue to do so, your new heart is shining in the window of your life, a beacon for all to see

the times a coming...

I really do believe so, so many changes, such quick and long lasting decisions to be made.
Sometimes we need to give ourselves that mental kick in the behind to get moving but it's for the good of our very soul.
I am busy making life long changes, some good and some sad.

every once in a while...

something good just happens, no rhyme nor reason it just does...out of the blue goodness, whether a friend calls up asking you to go somewhere you get post from someone you hadn't thought of in a long time, you know it just happens.
I love those sweet treasures of a moment, everything else gets forgotten and you allow yourself to just be, to just sit back, relax and smile broadly.

do yourself a huge favor...

You do yourself a grave disservice when you let others bitter thoughts mingle and stomp on your own uniqueness and beauty, you have so much to give, don't listen to others, listen instead to your heart ♥

do you expect too much?

in the grand scheme of things...are we all looking for too much, need too much, want too much?
Is the grass truly greener or chemically enhanced on the other side?
Should we not be grateful for what we have and just be extremely happy with the surprises that come along the way in life?

courage...

sometimes in life we have to look deep into our very souls to draw out what we need to carry on.
it's times like that we realize we are all we need, we can get ourselves through whatever it is...no one else can do it for us, sadly that's a very true statement.
I believe we depend too much on others when we hit a low point, but if we truly sat there for a moment and thought about it, it is this very difficult moment that makes us who we are, strong, beautiful, resiliant and unstoppable...

The next time you are feeling low, the next time you don't know which way to go, stop a moment reflect on what the problem is and deal with it, carry it until you can change the situation to best suit your needs not someone else's...this too shall pass and be but a distant memory in the grand scheme of things!

fearlessness

FEARLESS...is much more than just being UNAFRAID...it means that you're WEAK and acknowledge it, it means you're STRONG enough to get back up and MOVE ON. Fearless means you are READY to FACE whatever is headed your way.

I had a dream...

I had a dream
I had a dream that every single one of us learns the true meaning of real pure love.
I had a dream that every single child out there does not experience abuse of any kind in their lifetime
I had a dream that no matter who you are you are accepted as you and loved
I had a dream that the only color that existed was in the flowers you smelled
I had a dream that if you loved someone, everyone loved you both as a couple regardless of your gender
I had a dream that the only handicapped out there was a persons attitude to someone else
I had a dream that the government helped people who could not help themselves without questions or red tape
I had a dream that woke me up and made me realize the answer to each and every question is and always will be...LOVE.

I'm me dammit!

Do you ever have someone in your life who wants you to be different to change yourself wishes you somehow were different?
I want to say tonight I'm ME, LOVE ME, not who you wish I was...I can't change who I am, even if I could I wouldn't, EVER.
I'm beautiful in my own unique way, my scars are awards to show what I've come through, they are not signs of weakness and ugliness they are my badges of courage when everyone else left.

For anyone who is in this position, know this I LOVE YOU and I'm here for you

love can be both beautiful and painful

they say there is two sides to every story...but when you actually sit to listen to both sides you get hurt, you realize what you thought was very real is just what you imagined, one side, the other side in love anyways can be deathly cruel when found out...

suck it up buttercup!

YES! Today is one of those days, last night I learned of a dear friend whom has cancer...
to say I'm devastated is putting it mildly, do you ever feel useless not being able to do anything constructive for someone you care about.
Yet I can't help but feel very much alive, to really feel blessed for being able to wake up and smile, knowing I've been blessed with another day...

Sometimes we create bad situations in our heads not intentionally but we push to the background the good that's around us when instead that's truly what we should be focusing on in the first place...each other and there for each other even in the smallest ways possible...

just...try!

instead of saying how can I just try
instead of saying it's not possible just try
instead of shaking your head just try
instead of saying no just try

just try

so hard?

why is it so hard for people just to accept people, by that I mean TRULY ACCEPT people for what they are, the way they look, how they talk, what is in their heart, who they love and what they might preach?
are we all not after the same thing anyways?  LOVE?
being LOVED for oneself, being accepted for who we really are not what we let people see?

need your help PLEASE!

this stormy Monday I am asking ye all for a few seconds of your time...
Could ye possibly VOTE for my book A GRAVE EXCHANGE?
I would be eternally grateful to anyone who can spare a click, as in HUGS and KISSES :-)
http://indtale.com/rone-awards/2012/week-1
I'm in the erotica section!

and if ye like to read it too it's available here, truly hope ye enjoy it!
http://www.amazon.com/Grave-Exchange-Passion-ebook/dp/B009X2E6P6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366650848&sr=8-1&keywords=a+grave+exchange

passion...

it takes you by surprise taps you on the shoulder and then slams you into the wall, grabbing you and kissing you into a frenzy
passion drains you of your ability to think straight, it takes hold of you soul and feeds it's need for adoration
passion can send you to heaven and let you fall straight to hell when it lets go

normal?

who created that word? did they realize how hurtful and down grading it would become?
it's over used and used for the wrong reasons, the worst reasons...a person is not "normal" a person will never be normal.
A person is UNIQUE, one of a kind, individual, beautiful, strong and cherished or so they should be...
why teach children that they should conform to others standards in education?

we need to teach children they are bright and intelligent in their own unique way, we all have so much to give, we all have so much to learn from each other...let's not conform...let's not try to fit in...let's blossom and shine...

we can not nor will not let abominations kill our innocents...

this past week has been emotionally draining on one's soul.
the evil that is allowed in by people who think they are standing up for justice and liberty can not be allowed nor will it...

it doesn't matter what country you are from if you see unjust unkind heartless psychotics out there do something don't turn your head and let someone else deal with it, make a stand, be courageous, let love win...

why does love hurt?

Truly one would believe if they loved someone and the other person supposedly loved them then it would be picture perfect, true?
Instead love can truly rip you to shreds, leaving your very soul in tatters.
Is that love?  Can love be both earth shattering and heart breaking?
Do they go hand in hand?

Is it possible to survive the heartache, the lies,m the rawness, the loneliness the confusion?

grrrrrr

I'm an erotic author, I write erotica because I happen to love all things beautiful, I believe that the Gods above us created us to enjoy each other, we are a blessing to each other to savor, to delight, to love, to create...why then on FB do I get messages saying please don't post an erotic image on your page it's offensive you know what I write, the chances are high I might just post an image of a couple in the heat of passion, to me it's natural, I don't allow children on my page, I believe in REAL ADULT LOVE...

love hurts...

have you ever wanted someone so bad you physically hurt?
how is that possible?
what can you do about it if you can not viably visit your love?
it hurts so much your heart beats fiercely
it hurts so much your eyes blaze

it hurts so much you would contemplate amazing feats just to get to that person for one second, one kiss...

what is sexy?

as a writer I sit trying to decide what is sexy?
is it a beautiful man or woman or a man or woman who drives us wild with their mental intelligence?
is sexy a look or a a thing?
is sexy real or eluded too?
can sexy be sensual or is it hot only?
to me?
i think sexy is someone who can look at me and reduce me to a mess, make me forget how to talk with just their look, I don't even have to know that person, it's just there fleeting...

sexy to me is intelligence where I could talk all night yes talk and never touch BUT when we do, explosive...that to me is sexy, raw and passionate...

erotic...

what would be the most erotic thing for a lover to do?
have you ever trusted a lover enough to explore?
what drives you over the edge between heaven and hell...

desire overides clarity...

it does doesn't it?

you tell yourself no matter what to protect your heart, to not give it all, to hide yourself...I can't...I've tried...I leave my heart on my sleeve and then find it ripped up spat out and handed back to me...why are people like that when they know the other person has shown their true feelings?

it is what it is...

sometimes despite the brain warning your heart it just feels what it feels, nothing you can do about just hope and pray it doesn't get walked on...I believe in giving my all, ALL the time I can't help but be myself...this usually leads to me getting hurt, often...is it wrong to trust, to share myself completely?

bad things do happen to good people...

sadly it's the way of the world, time and time again history has proven this.

i believe we should not question why even though that's near impossible. we should just accept it's a fact of life, it's not God condemning us or the Devil taking control, no it's humans making ghastly decisions that leave innocents dead or maimed as this past week has shown, but we owe it to the victims of this tragedy and their friends and families, we owe it to them to learn to deal with suffering, to draw in a collective deep breath and to share a show of strength, to shower others less fortunate with our love, our shoulder to lean on and our hearts to give them love until they find it again...

so now it all starts...the judgements...the bickering...

i have to say i don't know how i feel about people who point fingers, throw blame easily at a country they know nothing about...it's wrong, it can be fatal...mistakes happen with individuals, it's not their countries fault...let it go...hatred can do no good, just start conflicts...

they caught him...

YES apparantely the Boston Police have caught the second suspect alive, albeit injured.
I wonder will they ever find out the why's to this evil act of betrayal to innocents?
I hope and pray now the families effected can find solace and peace and learn in time their hearts will heal, they will never forget their loved one's but they will learn to live and learn to cope.

PEACE...

would ye like to participate?

 Here I am with exciting news!  A Grave Exchange has been nominated for a readers award in Vegas, in August!

I'm blown away, wondering would any of ye beautiful people like to help to vote for me?

If ye would and no pressures at all, the link is below, just go to the Erotica section, A Grave Exchange is there and click the vote when yer ready :-)  Would be so happy and eternally grateful.

http://indtale.com/rone-awards/2012/week-1

 

If ye want to find me on facebook and join me please do here

 https://www.facebook.com/jane.pillatzke

RUDE...ye think?

today it's come to my attention (maybe I just hid from the truth) but some people really and truly are just plain RUDE, well obnoxious actually, they take nothing but pure evil pleasure in inflicting the worst form or nastiness to whoever their objects of hate are focused on...
I truly don't get people like this, is it just me?

the commonly used expression "haters gonna hate..." to me is not acceptable, adults please grow up, learn to play nicely...it's a hard world we live in

Desire

do you ever want someone so bad you can't breathe right?
do you ever want someone so bad your heart paces at a dangerous rate?
do you ever want someone so bad your mind can't stick to anything for long?
do you ever want someone so bad you'd do almost anything to get to them?

do you ever want someone so bad?

piracy?

is it such a bad thing you may ask, whether it be a download of your favorite musical artist or a free book, to be honest yes it IS a very big deal to the artist especially and up and coming artist, my books I have found on hundreds of pirate websites, that's hundreds of potential dollars for me, to be able to create more books for ye all to enjoy!  But alas due to these piracy sites I don't get a penny nor does any other author or musical artist, it sucks, royally...I don't mean to moan, I'm truly an optimist by nature but this truly hurts, financially and emotionally, please before you consider downloading a free copy THINK! 
Thank you now I shall stand off my wee podium and hand out FREE HUGS 'cause I'm feeling that way today!

history...

has no one figured it out just yet?
history is there to teach us valuable unforgettable lessons yet it seems repeatedly of late that no government is paying a blind bit of attention to our ancestors and the atrocities they lived with...why?

for all that is good and just do we not owe it to our children's children to learn, to teach, to preach and to make sure the same mistakes are never EVER repeated AGAIN!?

sometimes...

just sometimes when we least expect it, when we feel like we've hit rock bottom something or someone comes along and makes us realize why we are alive and how blessed we really are.

Angels walk among us each and every day, it's up to us to see them, to appreciate them and to learn lessons

that kiss...

his kiss makes my knees buckle but he holds my legs up on his hips
his kiss sends shivers down my spine, his kiss makes me forget my name...
his kiss makes me want to be claimed, his kiss makes me wanton

his kiss makes me scream...

a wee snippet of a piece I'm working on...

...she knew it would happen as sure as the stars filled the night sky.
She saw him look at her mouth, she couldn't help herself, she slowly licked her parched lips.
He stalked over, lifting her chin he starred into her eyes, no words were necessary, slowly so slowly he bent down and claimed her mouth leaving no room for any doubts as to his intentions, she was his, he would claim her, shivering she submitted like an acquiesce feline to her mate, grasping his shoulders she let her head fall back exposing her neck, for a few seconds a hot breath caressed her neck sending shivers up and down her spine, then his fangs sunk in deep, her legs went limp but he was already lifting her legs up around his hips...

for the love of humanity...make it stop!

WHY?
why so much hatred towards each other?
WHY?
why can't you love someone that is different from you?
WHY?
why be jealous of what others might have that you do not?
WHY?
the loss of innocence is inexcusable in any country
WHY?
why can't we LOVE each other, that truly is the answer to every single question

and again I ask WHY?

I can not even begin to understand such cruel hatred against fellow man, if it's for a full on statement with some issues someone has over government policies then write to a newspaper, vote, call your Senators, but why, WHY would anyone set out to massacre innocents, people who had paid a lot of money to run the marathon for charities, right now, someone is hearing their loved one is never coming home, someone's Dad, someone's Mom someone's brother or sister someone's lover...this has got to STOP someone must know something...someone knew something and didn't act...heartless bastards...

publishing company accepted my WWII novel

to say I'm excited is an understatement
however I knew this book would do well, why?
it's REAL, it's RAW, it's earthy and it's LOVE
how can a novel based in WWII be about LOVE simple, that is where real love happened
where millions perished, where millions learned what real true eternal love was
we today don't understand that, everything is here and now, instant
no need to worry, if it doesn't work move on...lessons are to be learned from our past

love does hurt

people say love never hurts
love is kind, gentle and sweet
i know this so far, love hurts, love digs deep and exposes your raw nerves
love is anything but gentle
love forces you to confront things you never wanted to admit
love is blood red from your free flowing arteries
love bursts your bubble
love laughs in your face
love haunts your soul
love leaves you restless and empty inside
love bruises your heart
but
love satiates the most savage soul
love finds a way
love never gives up
love whispers in your ear when you've long given up
love makes you silly
love holds you tight
love gentles and calms your fears

love kisses your tears dry

history...it repeats itself!

What is it about history that draws me in so?
could it be the fact that no many how many wars have occurred world wide the governments still manage to pull the wool over our eyes in time for another war to happen?
why is it we don't truly see what's happening in our countries until it's too late?
do we choose to ignore our governments letting them do their thing once they stay out of our "lives?"

yet time and time again it's the average Joe that gets hurt if not killed or permanently broke from the governments greed and unreasonable demands....

they say time heals all wounds

would you agree? I don't necessarily agree, time does not heal wounds, our mind chooses to "forget" to move on to preserve our emotional needs, time does not heal, we simply choose to move on, to start afresh, to learn from our past...

Passion

there is something so intensely beautiful about becoming involved in the moment, being caught up in heated passion whether an argument or just desirous passion. It's what we are made for, what separates us from the animal kingdom.

do you ever have a day where you feel like you are from another planet and that everyone around you is just not making any sense?
today is one of those days for me, I sit, scratch my head and wonder what is going on with people?

so much greed and angst and betrayals...so much hurt so much loneliness...

Spring has sprung!

I swear it's the birds singing or the white fluffy clouds floating by or the buds on the trees but everyone I'm looking at has a wee smile on their face, is it that way where you are?
I LOVE Spring, it's my favorite time of year, after months of gloom and doom and near hibernation it's time to kick those legs out from underneath and run, run swift, run free and shout out loud...depending where you are living of course :-)

Time wasted or time gained?

do you ever sit and wonder what to do in a situation or situations?
find your day has drifted away and still ye are no nearer sorting what needs to be done?
Is it time wasted or time gained working out the problem?

time stands still for no one, but sometimes ye have to take two steps back and think!

eBook Piracy!

Time and time again I see my book on a site for sale far more than I'm selling my book and what can I do about it?
I email the "company" and try to reason it out with them explaining I'm said author of A Grave Desire and A Grave Exchange could you kindly take my book of your site or pay me what I'm due, after all I'm the author, instead I've had emails back saying thank you for your concern please show proof you are the said author and bank details, seriously!!!!  Are you kidding me!!!
Not only am I screwed over but you want to kill me over twice by robbing my account!!!!
Sad world when you go to the bother of trying to be kind by keeping your book prices low and others go to sites that are illegal and pay that site instead of the author :-(

Please everyone, go to legit sites, it truly hurts financially and emotionally to see this corrupt world get worse!