sex

is there truly a difference in sex and making love?
I believe so, I believe ye can have animalistic sex with someone ye don't know but have a heated connection to but to make love ye have to be involved mentally, emotionally and physically.
my characters when I write have BOTH, but are involved deeply with each other, it helps bring my characters to life, to discover each other inside and out, to see what makes each other tick and the angst in my stories are what the characters have been through before they met each other, their luggage so to speak...

YES, sex and making love are very different...

can LOVE even exist in this I WANT and I want it now world?

Do we even stop every now and then and wonder if we are sharing our love and joy with others or just trying to accumulate as quickly as possible what we most desire physically...
Do we not realize that all these "things" we must have and HAVE to have are truly making us sick.
Our hearts and our MINDS need LOVE, need freedom to be able to express our inner most desires but of late with all the technologies out there, we just click a button and hey presto our immediate needs are taken care of and we FORGET how to work for something, LONG for something, CRAVE for something.

To obtain our DREAMS we must have goals, we must have DESIRES...

time stands still for no one...

ach I know I've been off of here a wee while forgive me please...
I was thinking of ye all :-)
I found myself this past hectic few days asking a lot of big questions.
Do ye ever do that?
Questions like, do people really LOVE anymore?
Do people only want what's in it for them, the immediate satisfaction as opposed to what can I bring to everyone to bring happiness.
Does real happiness even exist in our oh so commercial world?

Yes, lots of questions and lots of how do we turn this all around, how do we help each other back on track...

desire moves us...motivates us...encaptures us...

I love your lips when they're wet with wine and red with wicked desire...

be free...

Create the opportunity for your mind and heart to be open to new experiences without prejudice or anxiety. Be joy and happiness in every moment. Be alive and free from your past, your past is gone, it is over, live in the now, create your happiness, express your hearts desires

is there ever a right time?

I sit and wonder if there ever is a magical right time to have THAT talk with someone
to sit them down, pin them down if necessary and have it all out?
if someone is acting suspicious and someone treats ye badly, why bother?

the right time has come and gone...surely self preservation and dignity make ye move on?

just when ye think ye know someone, truly know someone...

do you ever sit and wonder about someone in yer life, they say one thing but do another?
do you ever truly wonder if ye really know that person at all?
they say all the right things in front of others but alone ye find out a whole other side to them?
why do people do this? what's the reasoning behind it, does it mean they trust ye with their real self or does it mean they could care less about ye and yer feelings?

sometimes I just truly wonder about others...

pain..

the world is filled with angst and pain, so much more than we could ever bare to describe
Yet it is through this very pain that we learn to thrive, to believe in ourselves and have strength in ourselves once again...
we truly are able to deal with anything if we have too. it doesn't mean it's fair, it just is what it is...
time helps us to learn to deal with whatever it is we have to go through...it won't be easy, it will feel like we are slowly bleeding out, but like all wounds it eventually stops and we move on, with one more scar to our map of scars throughout of lives...

be brave, be fearless, be real and be loving...each of us needs each other....

take chances...lots of them!

Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave...

what's in a name?

do you ever sit and wonder why your parents called you the name you are?
is it after some saintly person they prayed to?
is it after a favorite author/dancer/singer/actor?
is it after a first love that no one knew about?
or is it after the meaning behind the name?
is it even important?  i think so, names are beautiful, they set you up to build on your character.
If the meaning is beautiful, heroic, gentle it helps put your child out there...creates the mold to which your child builds their life on.

so many Sam's, so many Harry's, so many Kate's...I love originality and uniqueness but I love real names not created such as Vanilla...I like ice cream but not to call a child by that name...

peril at every corner...

The world is indeed full of peril and in it there are many dark places.
But still there is much that is fair. And though in all lands, love is now
mingled with grief, it still grows, perhaps, the greater...

Sometimes life just drags ye along by the collar, forcing ye into situations ye have NO control over

But maybe ye do, maybe ye can not stop the literal course of action but ye can stop yer REACTION to what's happening...I strive each day to be the best I can be no matter what the day brings me.

there comes a time...

there truly comes a time when ye have to just...let go!
Truly LET GO!
it doesn't matter how much ye wanted to make things work, to try to hold on, to think positively that maybe in time it will all get better...
To have control in your life, to live the life you want, you have to realize toxic people can not stay, no matter how much you want to make it all work out for the best...

Don't ever believe someone when they promise to never hurt you!  Be intelligent enough to know that no one can keep that promise forever...

It's up to you to decide whether the pain or the person is important enough...

Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word...the slightest touch...the slightest stare.
How can you heal a heart when it leaves and enters the body of the one you love.  You can't, you learn to live with it you learn to accept you will never be the same and you learn to carry on with life.

Perhaps in time someone amazing will come along and help you create a beautiful mosaic with your broken pieces and together you will create a new heart a heart filled with joy once more!

just do it!

Today is one of those days that I feel like shaking a few people, they are moaning about how things aren't working out for them...well just DO IT! Stop moaning figure out the way that will best work for you and just DO IT!
Life isn't easy, life is extremely complicated, you on any given day have to make a lot of uncomfortable decisions but in doing so you are the Master of YOUR life, no one else is, many would die for that freedom!

Just DO IT!

be strong...

Don’t let the thoughts banging around in your skull delude you into thinking this is how the world really is. Words are individual units of meaning that you string together to form your personal narrative about reality…stop trying to explain everything away. You’re a prisoner of a story you created – your autobiography. You are limited because your thinking limits you.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

It's so true, we seek comfort and peace but we truly find ourselves when we are in the middle of a most difficult situation, physically, emotionally or spiritually.
It is good to leave our comfort zone if only for a little while, to reach out to dare.
In doing so we find out what truly matters most, our self!  We learn to rely on no one, we become one with ourself... 

because I am!

I’m here. I love you. I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. There’s nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.

when love and pain collide...

when you love someone it gives them the ability to rip your heart out and tear it to pieces...
when you love someone your heart is more often than not on your sleeve for them to see...
when you love someone there is no ego just honesty and gentleness...

when you love someone it won't matter that you are venerable because you trust them, without trust there is nothing....

that past and our future!

Don’t let the experiences of the past limit your vision for the future. A voice from the past may keep telling us we can’t be more than we’ve been. Sometimes, our boss, a co-worker, friends or family may tell us the same thing. We may have had an experience that caused us to doubt our potential. The past is a long series of lessons that give us wisdom, not a barrier that limits who we are or what we can be tomorrow. What we envision and believe shapes our future.

who has the right?

Who has the right to tear you apart?
Who has the right to rip up your dreams?
Who has the right to stomp all over your heart?
Who has the right to make you feel inferior to others?
Who has the right to quiet your opinions and beliefs?
Who has the right to chastise you in front of others?
Who has that right?

Let's try this....

Let's all get excited for the things that are yet to come and quit focusing so much on all that has drained us physically, mentally and emotionally. Everything that has happened in life... The good, the bad and the in between have happened to get us exactly where we are today. We can't just give up and fold now cause we have been pushed to our limit. We have to show ourselves what we are made of and push ourselves to keep going. We must keep striving to be more and achieve more. For none of us were put on this earth to intentionally fail

LOVE?

What is LOVE?
Is there such a thing?

Or is it very much a fairy tale we were read as children, should we discard it along with our old books from childhood or hold it close to our hearts hoping, believing wishing?

some days I just wonder...

Today was a day of questions, at least for me it was.
I sit and wonder whether to let someone into my life, my world, so many questions
How do you trust someone anymore?
Can you trust someone anymore?  Can you take someone's word, or do you assume they will lie to you?

Is it dangerous to trust is it like days gone by a fairy tale notion, but leave well alone?

escapism...

we all watch movies/films, is it to escape our lives for a few hours or because we search for meanings to our life, to find the values and respect that we don't have in our relationships, is it to find out about our past, our history, to see what has made us the way we are.
Is it to explain why we are who we are, what we do, is it like a therapy for ourselves, a secret pat on the back an explanation as to what we feel.

Do we need a hero in our life?  Is the hero in the film what we need? Can we not be our own hero?  Would life not become what we want it to be, if we stood up and accounted for our actions and took our responsibilities seriously instead of looking to others?

why?

why do people use labels? why do they throw labels at others that they may not understand or accept?
People have a habit of calling someone a cripple because they can't walk, or dumb because they can not hear, they call someone gay because they may love someone of the same sex.
Is it fear of the unknown, hatred for others or just someone who does not understand that they are the truly disabled person; they can not see the person in front of them for what they are, they are the deaf person who is not listening to the person in front of them, they are the blind person they can not see love for what it is...

Before a person labels someone, they should realize they are in actual fact labeling themselves...

If...

If I knew you and you knew me
If both of us could clearly see
And with an inner sight divine,
The meaning of your heart and mine,
I'm sure that we would differ less,
And clasp our hands in friendliness;
Our thoughts would pleasantly agree,

If I knew you and  you knew me...

there's a monster in all of us...

sometimes when I sit and watch people I realize it's hard to be who you really are today, so many people around you want you to be someone else, to be the perfect friend/lover/parent/child
So many people around us make us build walls around our hearts for fear that they might actually see who we really are, sensitive, gentle, hurting
Also deep inside us is a monster, predatory, ruthless and hard
The monster comes out to play when we finally can't take it anymore, it's not someone losing it, it's someone finally having enough of not being able to be themselves.
Society has a lot to learn to accept, to love

We all need to be allowed to be ourselves...

this month, May, is mental health awareness...

I sit here and think of my many friends around the world, I sit here and think how many people I know truly know are suffering the chances are I will never know how many are suffering some form of debilitating mental illnesses, whether depression or anxiety or withdrawal from society because of something through no fault of their own happened to them.
We as a collective world society owe it to each other to step up and help each other out, in small ways, small steps, call upon each other, text each other check in on each other, an elderly neighbor, a recently divorced girl down the road, a single Mom or the drunk you see walking daily down the road.
Someone needs some love shared, a small piece of change for a coffee, an ear for a few minutes conversation whatever it would mean the world to someone.

Let's make the change we want to see, let's not rely on our governments to do anything, let's do it ourselves.

so very many questions...

when you hinge on the words of others and rely on this to know exactly what you feel.. this is not enlightenment and it is not who you are... Ever seen a dog with self esteem issues. Or a bird who was depressed cause it couldn't fly straight... Well you will never see this because it doesn't exist ( As far as i know that is ). The mind that we all possess not only steers us in the wrong direction but others as well.

Self is the statement that starts inside and continues to stay inside till it is ready to flourish just as a flower would. However self can be confusing as it doesn't have the basic understanding of the human mind. I know someone who is under false notion that they have peace within them.. and although they feel peace they are lost in the sense that they project a love that is not able to be expressed without physical and mental emotion.

This leads me to understand something further in the way we as humans operate as it pertains to love of self. If you manifest the desire to love deeply yet the love within you and i is not present, how will you hear, feel, or understand the love that is being given to you by someone who does possess this within. You won't it will be an illusion of something that is not real. You can express happiness but not truly feel the power of the happiness or even better the peace within. How could you? You can't.. it is not the way the self love works... You ever been hurt in a love relationship when you should have walked away... yet you couldn't... well you couldn't because you didn't have love of self.. intentional pain or even unconscious pain are there for a reason they show you a pain that is not only addictive but will only continue to haunt you within that same love relationship. It will keep showing you highs and lows... each with a higher and lower of both happiness and sadness... this identity that we keep within us.,. keeps us familiar as the unknown is not something that we care to even let come into our existence. So you stay in this place for an undetermined amount of time till we realize that we no longer can stay within this... then to separate from this is a great pain... but not... it is pain of not knowing who you are without this within your life... so back and forth... forth and back to start a cycle of explosions that can almost feel as though you are free from the pain but not...

You hold on to this for a couple of reasons but none of which make any kind of sense... it is insanity at it's greatest... as something within you tells you that you have no idea what you are doing so stay numb... you hinge on every word.. your smile no longer is your smile but that to which you have attached yourself to for the times that you can. You stay in a dream state... but why? why stay like this? what purpose does it serve? why do you stay in a love that will not allow you to embrace the part of yourself that can make you whole within yourself? why stay miserable within to realize that if you take the time to embrace your own self.. your self will grow and allow that to which will be the best part of your life to come to you..

Some spirits are giving spirits and some others are selfish.. what if the opposites find each other and develop a relationship.. well it will end.. maybe not today... maybe not tomorrow.. but it does have an end.. only two like spirits will blossom won't they... as the opposites can't understand the other... so what happens then? why are you with me can't go unanswered for too long... why do you want and need me can't go unanswered for too long either... what about how long do you feel you can go with the emptiness of speaking to you without words knowing that it is not only possible but it is something you can't be without any longer... but you sacrifice this love for all others that could possibly come to you without any remorse...i had to ask why? what is in it for me or you?