when
you hinge on the words of others and rely on this to know exactly what
you feel.. this is not enlightenment and it is not who you are... Ever
seen a dog with self esteem issues. Or a bird who was depressed cause it
couldn't fly straight... Well you will never see this because it
doesn't exist ( As far as i know that is ). The mind that we all
possess not only steers us in the wrong direction but others as well.
Self is the statement that starts inside and continues to stay inside
till it is ready to flourish just as a flower would. However self can be
confusing as it doesn't have the basic understanding of the human mind.
I know someone who is under false notion that they have peace within
them.. and although they feel peace they are lost in the sense that they
project a love that is not able to be expressed without physical and
mental emotion.
This leads me to understand something further
in the way we as humans operate as it pertains to love of self. If you
manifest the desire to love deeply yet the love within you and i is not
present, how will you hear, feel, or understand the love that is being
given to you by someone who does possess this within. You won't it will
be an illusion of something that is not real. You can express happiness
but not truly feel the power of the happiness or even better the peace
within. How could you? You can't.. it is not the way the self love
works... You ever been hurt in a love relationship when you should have
walked away... yet you couldn't... well you couldn't because you didn't
have love of self.. intentional pain or even unconscious pain are there
for a reason they show you a pain that is not only addictive but will
only continue to haunt you within that same love relationship. It will
keep showing you highs and lows... each with a higher and lower of both
happiness and sadness... this identity that we keep within us.,. keeps
us familiar as the unknown is not something that we care to even let
come into our existence. So you stay in this place for an undetermined
amount of time till we realize that we no longer can stay within this...
then to separate from this is a great pain... but not... it is pain of
not knowing who you are without this within your life... so back and
forth... forth and back to start a cycle of explosions that can almost
feel as though you are free from the pain but not...
You hold
on to this for a couple of reasons but none of which make any kind of
sense... it is insanity at it's greatest... as something within you
tells you that you have no idea what you are doing so stay numb... you
hinge on every word.. your smile no longer is your smile but that to
which you have attached yourself to for the times that you can. You stay
in a dream state... but why? why stay like this? what purpose does it
serve? why do you stay in a love that will not allow you to embrace the
part of yourself that can make you whole within yourself? why stay
miserable within to realize that if you take the time to embrace your
own self.. your self will grow and allow that to which will be the best
part of your life to come to you..
Some spirits are giving
spirits and some others are selfish.. what if the opposites find each
other and develop a relationship.. well it will end.. maybe not today...
maybe not tomorrow.. but it does have an end.. only two like spirits
will blossom won't they... as the opposites can't understand the
other... so what happens then? why are you with me can't go unanswered
for too long... why do you want and need me can't go unanswered for too
long either... what about how long do you feel you can go with the
emptiness of speaking to you without words knowing that it is not only
possible but it is something you can't be without any longer... but you
sacrifice this love for all others that could possibly come to you
without any remorse...i had to ask why? what is in it for me or you?
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