some days I just wonder...

Today was a day of questions, at least for me it was.
I sit and wonder whether to let someone into my life, my world, so many questions
How do you trust someone anymore?
Can you trust someone anymore?  Can you take someone's word, or do you assume they will lie to you?

Is it dangerous to trust is it like days gone by a fairy tale notion, but leave well alone?

escapism...

we all watch movies/films, is it to escape our lives for a few hours or because we search for meanings to our life, to find the values and respect that we don't have in our relationships, is it to find out about our past, our history, to see what has made us the way we are.
Is it to explain why we are who we are, what we do, is it like a therapy for ourselves, a secret pat on the back an explanation as to what we feel.

Do we need a hero in our life?  Is the hero in the film what we need? Can we not be our own hero?  Would life not become what we want it to be, if we stood up and accounted for our actions and took our responsibilities seriously instead of looking to others?

why?

why do people use labels? why do they throw labels at others that they may not understand or accept?
People have a habit of calling someone a cripple because they can't walk, or dumb because they can not hear, they call someone gay because they may love someone of the same sex.
Is it fear of the unknown, hatred for others or just someone who does not understand that they are the truly disabled person; they can not see the person in front of them for what they are, they are the deaf person who is not listening to the person in front of them, they are the blind person they can not see love for what it is...

Before a person labels someone, they should realize they are in actual fact labeling themselves...

If...

If I knew you and you knew me
If both of us could clearly see
And with an inner sight divine,
The meaning of your heart and mine,
I'm sure that we would differ less,
And clasp our hands in friendliness;
Our thoughts would pleasantly agree,

If I knew you and  you knew me...

there's a monster in all of us...

sometimes when I sit and watch people I realize it's hard to be who you really are today, so many people around you want you to be someone else, to be the perfect friend/lover/parent/child
So many people around us make us build walls around our hearts for fear that they might actually see who we really are, sensitive, gentle, hurting
Also deep inside us is a monster, predatory, ruthless and hard
The monster comes out to play when we finally can't take it anymore, it's not someone losing it, it's someone finally having enough of not being able to be themselves.
Society has a lot to learn to accept, to love

We all need to be allowed to be ourselves...

this month, May, is mental health awareness...

I sit here and think of my many friends around the world, I sit here and think how many people I know truly know are suffering the chances are I will never know how many are suffering some form of debilitating mental illnesses, whether depression or anxiety or withdrawal from society because of something through no fault of their own happened to them.
We as a collective world society owe it to each other to step up and help each other out, in small ways, small steps, call upon each other, text each other check in on each other, an elderly neighbor, a recently divorced girl down the road, a single Mom or the drunk you see walking daily down the road.
Someone needs some love shared, a small piece of change for a coffee, an ear for a few minutes conversation whatever it would mean the world to someone.

Let's make the change we want to see, let's not rely on our governments to do anything, let's do it ourselves.

so very many questions...

when you hinge on the words of others and rely on this to know exactly what you feel.. this is not enlightenment and it is not who you are... Ever seen a dog with self esteem issues. Or a bird who was depressed cause it couldn't fly straight... Well you will never see this because it doesn't exist ( As far as i know that is ). The mind that we all possess not only steers us in the wrong direction but others as well.

Self is the statement that starts inside and continues to stay inside till it is ready to flourish just as a flower would. However self can be confusing as it doesn't have the basic understanding of the human mind. I know someone who is under false notion that they have peace within them.. and although they feel peace they are lost in the sense that they project a love that is not able to be expressed without physical and mental emotion.

This leads me to understand something further in the way we as humans operate as it pertains to love of self. If you manifest the desire to love deeply yet the love within you and i is not present, how will you hear, feel, or understand the love that is being given to you by someone who does possess this within. You won't it will be an illusion of something that is not real. You can express happiness but not truly feel the power of the happiness or even better the peace within. How could you? You can't.. it is not the way the self love works... You ever been hurt in a love relationship when you should have walked away... yet you couldn't... well you couldn't because you didn't have love of self.. intentional pain or even unconscious pain are there for a reason they show you a pain that is not only addictive but will only continue to haunt you within that same love relationship. It will keep showing you highs and lows... each with a higher and lower of both happiness and sadness... this identity that we keep within us.,. keeps us familiar as the unknown is not something that we care to even let come into our existence. So you stay in this place for an undetermined amount of time till we realize that we no longer can stay within this... then to separate from this is a great pain... but not... it is pain of not knowing who you are without this within your life... so back and forth... forth and back to start a cycle of explosions that can almost feel as though you are free from the pain but not...

You hold on to this for a couple of reasons but none of which make any kind of sense... it is insanity at it's greatest... as something within you tells you that you have no idea what you are doing so stay numb... you hinge on every word.. your smile no longer is your smile but that to which you have attached yourself to for the times that you can. You stay in a dream state... but why? why stay like this? what purpose does it serve? why do you stay in a love that will not allow you to embrace the part of yourself that can make you whole within yourself? why stay miserable within to realize that if you take the time to embrace your own self.. your self will grow and allow that to which will be the best part of your life to come to you..

Some spirits are giving spirits and some others are selfish.. what if the opposites find each other and develop a relationship.. well it will end.. maybe not today... maybe not tomorrow.. but it does have an end.. only two like spirits will blossom won't they... as the opposites can't understand the other... so what happens then? why are you with me can't go unanswered for too long... why do you want and need me can't go unanswered for too long either... what about how long do you feel you can go with the emptiness of speaking to you without words knowing that it is not only possible but it is something you can't be without any longer... but you sacrifice this love for all others that could possibly come to you without any remorse...i had to ask why? what is in it for me or you?